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idk....ill just keep trying to pretend like everythings okay....
http://www.youtube.com/v/iAgvkVgAx6
These are the lyrics to the song above....
I hope you can understand how this relates to me....
Lighting strikes inside
My chest keep me up at night
Dream of ways to make you understand my pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
Its heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love
why dont you say so
If you want more love
why dont you say so
Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again
Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain pain pain
Clouds of sulfur in the air
Bombs are falling everywhere
Its heartbreak warfare
Once you want it to begin
No one really ever wins
In heartbreak warfare
If you want more love
Why dont you say so
If you want more love
Why dont you say so
Just say so
How come the only way to know
How high to get me
Is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much
Id love you if you let me
But I cant break through it all
Its heart, heartbreak
I dont care if we dont sleep at all tonight
Lets just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God were gonna get it right
If you lay your weapons down
Red wine and ambien, youre talking shit again
Its heartbreak warfare
Good to know its all a game
Disappointment has a name
Its heartbreak, heartbreak
Its heartbreak warfare
Its heartbreak warfare
- Location:Giant Open Field....Nothing In Sight.
- Mood:
thoughtful - Music:John Mayer
these past few weeks have really shown me how much i can really miss people...
P.s my mood is bliss
(<3)
- Location:Home
- Mood:awake
- Music:ICP-The Tower.
<3
Standing on a bus stop
Feeling your head pop
Out in the night
In the kind of night
Where you want to be out
On the street, on the street
Crawling up the walls
Like a cat in heat
And the air is thin
And it blows through your skin
And you feel like something
Is about to begin
But you don't know what
And you don't know when
So you tear at your hair
And you scratch at your skin
You wanna run away, run away
Just get on the fucking train and leave today
And it doesn't matter where you spend the night
You just might end up somewhere in a fight, in a fight
Or calling your room on a concrete shelf
Fighting all alone, with yourself, with yourself
And you just wanna feel like a coin that's been tossed
In a wishing well, a wishing well
A wishing well, a wishing well
Well you're tossed in the air
And you fell and you fell
Through the dark blue waters
Where you cast your spell
Like you were just a wish that could turn out well
So you stand on the corner
Where the angels sit
And you think to yourself,
"This is it, this is it
This is all that I have
All I can stand
Is this air in my lungs
And this coin in my hand"
That you tossed in the air
And I fell, and I fell
All the way to the bottom
Of the well, of the well
Like those soft little secrets
That you tell, that you tell
To yourself, when you think
No one's listening to, well
And the walls spin
And you're paper-thin
From the haze of the smoke
And the mescaline
The threat of your brow
Under unmade sheets
In your ear with the noise
From the darkest streets
We ran far and wide
You screamed, you cried
You thought suicide was an alibi
But you were always a mess
You were always aloof
Yeah, it's awful, I guess
But it's the awful truth
It was truth from the first
To the last words that she read
And she emerged from the dark
Like a ghost in my head
She said, "I haven't forgot
Any words that you said
I just stare at the clocks
And I cry in my sleep
And I tear up your letters
And I burn them in heaps
And I gather the ashes
In that hole in the ground
Where we fell"
- Location:Home
- Music:The airborne toxic event-Wishing well
I'll hold your tears as a ransom
Within the palm of my hand
And tell you once again,
Don't tell me that you're scared
Wake, wake, wake her
From this sea of white linens and
Extract the drugs from her dreams
And sew her seams with delicateness
'Cause beneath her chest sits the heart that I live for,
You'd kill for,
The angels would die for
And with a subtle wink and a flutter of wings
They whispered,
They whispered
I'll hold your tears as a ransom
Within the palm of my hand
And tell you once again
Don't tell me that you're scared
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers
Wake the angels
Tell them that she's not scared
She won't be taking the next flight out of here
With a relic in her right hand,
She rushes to the front line,
Stricken by the wounds across her chest
The angels swear she's blessed with this medical test
That unlocks the gates to the place that we live for
We die for,
I know that she's bound for
And with a subtle wink and a mother's instinct
She whispered,
She whispered
I'll hold your tears as a ransom
Within the palm of my hand
And tell you once again,
Don't tell me that you're
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers
Wake the angels
Tell them that she's not scared
She won't be taking the next flight
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers
Wake the angels
Tell them that she's not scared
She won't be taking the next flight out of here
The angels dressed for the wake
But she sent them home
She sent them home
With a handful of bullet shells
With a handful of bullet shells
The angels dressed for the wake
But she sent them home
Sent them home
With a handful of bullet shells
With a handful of bullet shells
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers
Wake the angels
Tell them that she's not scared
She won't be taking the next flight out of here
Within the palm of my hand
And tell you once again,
Don't tell me that you're scared
Wake, wake, wake her
From this sea of white linens and
Extract the drugs from her dreams
And sew her seams with delicateness
'Cause beneath her chest sits the heart that I live for,
You'd kill for,
The angels would die for
And with a subtle wink and a flutter of wings
They whispered,
They whispered
I'll hold your tears as a ransom
Within the palm of my hand
And tell you once again
Don't tell me that you're scared
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers
Wake the angels
Tell them that she's not scared
She won't be taking the next flight out of here
With a relic in her right hand,
She rushes to the front line,
Stricken by the wounds across her chest
The angels swear she's blessed with this medical test
That unlocks the gates to the place that we live for
We die for,
I know that she's bound for
And with a subtle wink and a mother's instinct
She whispered,
She whispered
I'll hold your tears as a ransom
Within the palm of my hand
And tell you once again,
Don't tell me that you're
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers
Wake the angels
Tell them that she's not scared
She won't be taking the next flight
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers
Wake the angels
Tell them that she's not scared
She won't be taking the next flight out of here
The angels dressed for the wake
But she sent them home
She sent them home
With a handful of bullet shells
With a handful of bullet shells
The angels dressed for the wake
But she sent them home
Sent them home
With a handful of bullet shells
With a handful of bullet shells
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
Alert the sawbones,
Tell them that she's not scared
She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers
Wake the angels
Tell them that she's not scared
She won't be taking the next flight out of here
- Location:Home
- Mood:
excited - Music:The airborne toxic event-Wishing well.
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme when I was obsessed with time
All I know, time was just slipping way
And I watched it count down till the end of the day
Watched it watch me and the words that I say
The echo of the clock rhythm in my veins
I know that I didn't look out below
And I watched the time go right out the window
Trying to grab hold, trying not to watch
I wasted it all on the hands of the clock
But in the end no matter what I pretend
The journey is more important than the end or the start
And what it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when I tried so hard
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Yo one thing, one thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme to explain in due time
All I know, time to so-socialize like the host of the party
All for shake and made eye contact
Party control showing all that
Northeast, southwest coast
Stand out the window, no opportunity to mingle
I tried to show her, if you could just sense a middle disorder
I brought you back of the thing
Like the imaginary man of your dreams
Well, you would always seem to make it worth it
A pig skin I never nerfed it
you felt lovin, I never applied a room
without bringing the plan
by any means and means of leaving you teens,
of all those teenage scenes, I tried so hard
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing I don't know how
It doesn't even matter when you look at it now
Because when I designed this rhyme I was scared of it all
Scared to fall, I had the start
And what it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when I tried so hard
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
- Location:Home
- Mood: thoughtful
- Music:Envy on the coast-Tell them she's not scared.
I'm so alive....
these thoughts of freedom raise me up
im so much more then i was i read on my old posts and i keep thinking how much i've changed and how far i've come in my life.....
i know it may not be much to give you in return but Thank you....
you've all done something in one way or another to keep me going....
wether it's a reason to better myself to spite you...
wether i WANT it....
wether i'm doing it for some one else.
im doing it and that's all that matters i've come so far and i sware i won't fail now..
everything tells me this is true everything's giving me a reason to be such a better man and i realize.... this really isn't all for me this is for the people who have to deal with me too lol.. it's amazing though that you guys haven't disowned me yet lol....
im so used to bieng told im so much less than.. it's a reason why i condescend alot because i try to make up for that but obviously i fail lol...but life is moving forward in a positive direction and it's great...i could wish for more but as of right now i think i'm pretty good... life seems to be sprawling with new things and ideas so i'm good :D
on the other hand lol
i've run into a few new bands/songs/genres and i've been in alot more upbeat moods....
im so happy right now! :D
i've decided i'm staying single...
seems to work better for me anyhows lol ^^
i've learned alot of patience in the past few months and i can feel myself slowly standing up again on my feet and it's such a forgotten feeling, the last time i felt this way was last summer and last summer i was so confident with myself....
my confidence is back and in well working order lol :D
(it's scientifically proven you are happier when the sun is out more because it causes a chemical reaction with your body and your body releases saratonin which makes you happy :D thats why some people get winter blues :-\)
i've fallen in love with the goo goo dolls lol :D
lol so i was sitting out on my back patio and a squirell jumped from my roof onto the patio slipped and went off the side and hit a stone and died i was like :O awwee :'(-(*cries*) yeah so i buried it in the backyard :-\
i've also been doing some thinking and i think im going to write a book on my life..
it will probably be only 20 or so chapters but.
yeah it would be a start.
i've also been addicted to iced coffees :D they =<3 hardcore lol
so yeah i think i might be moving up to new hampshire with my grandpa....
i would go to milton high....
and i would work up there and pay my rent and whatnot... but obviously i don't want to leave everyone behind........
idk....
this topic blows lol
NEXT!
lol okay so.. i've decided poets of the fall is my new favorite band... :D i hope they tour :D i would def go to one of their shows lol.
So be it :D<333
- Location:Home
- Mood:
bouncy - Music:Poets of the fall-Roses
ill post a pic when i can.=]
- Location:home
- Mood: chipper
- Music:bullet for my valentine
=]
so on the other hand..... this week has been really amazing, with alot of issues at hand i still seem to find time to have some fun!
For instance.
1.lighting a plastic ball on fire and playing kick ball with it....
2.grabbing monkies out of under your carpet...
3. hearing some creepy blonde guy smacking off in the other room?
4.getting into the cookie jar youve been trying to find for years to come to find it's where your dad throws his used condoms *cough* xD
5.seeing a fish the size of my toe devour what looked like a grown baby.....
6.drinking 15 cups of cofffee each with 32 sugars in them in 2 hours! =D <3
7.Finding out dad is really mom and mom is really the spagetti monster kinda creeped me out.....
8.trying to jump from the third floor patio to the first =D
well that's all i can think of for now =D
i'm all set for saturday and hoping to have a great time =]
hoping katie has a safe journey....
----------------------------------------
"And you said I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bare
Remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there"
- Location:Home =D
- Mood: hyper
- Music:Reliant k- My escape.
w00t lol =P <3
(Sis I'm Proud Of You...)
Speak with your tongue tied,
I know that you’re tired
But
I may be sad, But I’m not weak,
Until someday I’ll be waiting for an answer
I guess that yesterday’s not
You know that I hate this song
Because it was written for
Drown your fears with me
I’m feeling real sorry
Your glossy eyes don’t need
But you’re way too deep to swim
Back up again
But somehow I can’t find
The moment
This is becoming a problem I’m
The way that I heard are haunting me,
You’re under my skin
You’re breaking in,
And the tasteless fights that filled our nights
Are starting to cave in,
And if somedays
I have
- Location:thjy
- Mood:
crushed - Music:hjgjghfbg
Waiting like a stalking butler, who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the path of must we, just because the son has come.
Why cant we not be
I will only complicate you. trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you. I will chew it up and leave.
I will work to elevate you, just enough to bring you down.
Why cant we sleep forever? I just want to start this over.
I am just a worthless liar. ..............I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.............. trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you. I will chew it up and leave.
Trust me. trust me. trust me. trust me. trust me.
Why cant we not be sober. I just want to start things over.
Why cant we sleep forever.
- Location:hell
- Mood: depressed
- Music:sober-tool
I'm the boy who's kicking the coke machine
I'm the one that's honking at you cuz I left late again
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Don't judge me tomorrow
Mix the words up with the actions
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
You wanna
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction, Ya!
Hey! Hey!
- Location:my house
- Mood:<<Does Not Haz A Gas Pwoblem=[
- Music:tangled up in you -staind
So i've come to a conclusion. I'm Going To Stay Single. Because I don't have much of a choice. I know given the chance i would take her back in an instant. and i dont know when her and jones will be through.... So i will save some people the pain and just stay single....... im(gave up doing punctuation)-not going to get into a relationship with some one... if im just trying to pass time until kiki and jones get through.... i know that might sound wierd but for anyone who knows what its like to wait for the one person you have eyes for... its hella worth it in the end.... even if its just one moment of serenity... i may be flirty... but i can do that cant i? im a human first off. and im single at the moment..so whatever...moving on....ive stopped doing drugs. i dont want to anymore...... its dumb and only causes problems.... i want to be normal again.... so ive decided to quit on my own.... and if i cant.... i WILL go to rehab if needed..... i dont want to lose all of you....
on another note....im a juggalo.... ive officially claimed juggalo status.... i know they follow god.........dont ask.....cuz ill get mad.....
so.... il end it with some poetry =D
-
from The woom of destruction comes deaths most devine of structures..hate a power that overcomes lifes already desacrated integrity for the ones whom follow this so highly glorified "god" do nothing but reinforce the walls of which they are surrounded for doing so allows nothing of harm in but calls for a greater problem....the harm thats managed to stow itself away in the shadows which now seizes its moment to manifest and unleash.... for when we do so they are left with no where to run for the walls they have so preciously made for protection become the very wepon we possess to annihilate them... with their backs to there walls they stare into the eyes of fear for we are so uncomprehendably unnoticeable that the very sight of us would paralyze you for we are deaths most devine of complexity WE ARE HATE...
(steal this and get koed kthxbye x.x)
alrighty peoples im off to bed goodnight
They crawl'in like a roach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape, to remind me that I'm
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
the way you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
the way you never try to reach me,
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things i didnt do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you
I'm
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
'Till I saw your brown eyes cry and
And then I fell down yelling "
Come back and shine just like it
And then she whispered "
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you.
-i cant thank you guys enough for dealing with my bullshit ........ i think im going to go to rehab.... and get some help..... or 2 weeks of isolation....24 days left... till i
- Location:the abyss
- Mood: guilty
- Music: me- blue october
i.dont.know.anymore
like wtf.... im bieng a dumbass and im sick of bieng upset... like today i asked some one to buy me weed.... and like i caught myself...... like its fucked up to think like its built into me to just turn to drugs without even noticing..... im sick of it..... i cant do this alone...... and like even though people are [physically] here for me i feel like no one is mentally here for me.... this is probably all just me.... bieng dumb.... but a part of me knows.... like things are changin like crazy around me....... i am taking on ALOT more then i can handle..... and i feel as no one wants to help me stand on my own...... people just toss aside my feelings without noticing there even doing it. im going to be alone on valentines day...... not even relationship wise.... but alone....
some one help me?......
- Location:home
- Mood:indescribable
- Music:anything for you-? idunno
I Truly Miss You.
I Hope My Actions Speak The Words That I Cannot.
-
A
C
E
-
Michael William Ronci
- Location:school
- Mood: hopeful
- Music:hands held high- linkin park
btw im sick and have bad cough but its funny how i still love life <333 =D
* Don't say who they are.
* Disable comments.
* Never discuss it again - er, this one is open. Dunno
1. you piss me off when you play with other people emotions go die yoor too nosy also.. and you are a bitch to other guys.
2. i wish youd get out there more rather then trying to get with people that are already taken =\ go fuck yourself =]
3. im sorry i hurt you but im alot happier now.. i needed to do this to get into reality and get what makes me happiest. i know it ended quick but i had to move on.
4.fuck you you bitch! you ruined my life and still are i wish youd die sometimes but at the same time i love you =]
5. i love you =\
6.you my homosexual friend need to leave people alone you get way too anooying after like.....0.2 seconds of saying hi. =\
7. you mean more then life to me i love you and would be willing to sacrifice everything i have to keep you i just wish i could tell you that sometimes you scare me because im afraid it will go sour and ill be ruined.... i sometimes hate the fact that you allow guys to hit on you.... its not on my job to tell them to stop its up to you and i wish youd be more open =\ ilu
8. i look up to you youve been my rolemodel since i was little always wanted to be like you and i just wanted to say i love you =\
9.you smell like wet dog =] lawl xD
10. i wish you wouldnt sleep with my girlfriend everynight it makes me uncomfortable =\ i doubt your motives from time to time and watch you very closely when im around i cant trust you anymore so im on to you.. xD
- Location:fucking
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:nightwish idfk
